Why I love Elaine
Elaine is awesome. She’s the best friend anyone could have! Elaine is so talented it makes me want to throw up (but enjoy it). Elaine has been there when I needed a buddy, a friend and a sister. Elaine makes me laugh just by looking at her, cause now, all I see is Simon. :) Elaine - you rock! That’s why I love Elaine!!!
Only problem is this is what her resume looks like - no wonder she can’t get a job anymore in the “real world.”
Elaine Carroll Skills Summary:- Disorganized, Hates sinners, not at all resourceful and… away.
- I don’t nokn egrish can’t speel
- Amateur with no leadership whatsoever but I have a good relationship with Jesus!
- What’s a computer? But who cares. I’ll get you to do it and take the credit!
- Hit and yelled at all prospective applicants and clients.
- Ignored questions about application process and let them set themselves up for assessment testing adhering to company protocol.
- Didn’t pick up the phone at all. Yelled at CEO to answer his own fucking phone.
- Lost all current and former employee information including W4 and I9 forms sold personal information to The Triad organization.
- Lost, applications. Don’t worry, someone else found them.
- Recruited and prescreened applicants as a member of the Operations Department.
- My reputation speaks for itself. Call my manager.
- Develop assignation techniques with customers and fostered ominous atmosphere.
- Killed customer’s dreams and drank the tears of their children
- Took their money, cash and credit.
- Tortured for children ages 1 – 7 with saw dust and car batteries.
- Made them iron my clothes and beat them if they cried.
- Took their candy. HA HA HA!
KKKamp Broadway – 2005
- Made children ages 12 – 17 sing to me.
- Watched the 2005 Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade opening number
Education – Graduated 1306
- B.Fucking.A. Acting, Marymount Manhattan College. New York, NY. 5.0 GPA. Yes, 5.0.
- Sammy Doerr
