ELAINE IS SO FAT!!
and by fat i mean PHAT! and by phat i mean lovable. i would never punch her in the face until she couldn’t breathe. in fact, i would never punch her in the face at all. i would just give her crazy crazy endless love! happy valentines day elaine! even though i don’t see you as often as i’d like, you have a permanent, rent controlled luxury condo in my heart. i adore you and drown you in happiness, health, and actor employment.
your friend in forever fatness,
- catherine ‘fat kid’ decioccio
