We Love Elaine!

Elaine's friends and family confess their love on Valentine's Day, 2008.
February 14

T and A

T and A, all the way, jk jk.

Elaine is super cool because she has an intelligent sharp wit, yet will still laugh at farts and boners with you.

This is exceptionally nice because 90 percent of the time I walk around with a giant erection and a terrible case of the gassies.

Happy Valentine’s Day, Elaine.

- David

+

I love Elaine because she makes me want to talk to her in this secret cat language. And I know she will understand because she is just as soft and cute and warm and happy as they are!!!

XOXO

- Jen

+
Looking at this cute little puppy makes me feel the same way as when I’m around Elaine… all warm and fuzzy.  ;-)  WE LOVE ELAINE!!! - Vic

Looking at this cute little puppy makes me feel the same way as when I’m around Elaine… all warm and fuzzy.  ;-)  WE LOVE ELAINE!!!

- Vic

+

Why I love Elaine

Elaine is awesome. She’s the best friend anyone could have! Elaine is so talented it makes me want to throw up (but enjoy it). Elaine has been there when I needed a buddy, a friend and a sister. Elaine makes me laugh just by looking at her, cause now, all I see is Simon. :) Elaine - you rock! That’s why I love Elaine!!!

Only problem is this is what her resume looks like - no wonder she can’t get a job anymore in the “real world.”

Elaine Carroll Skills Summary:
  • Disorganized, Hates sinners, not at all resourceful and… away.
  • I don’t nokn egrish can’t speel
  • Amateur with no leadership whatsoever but I have a good relationship with Jesus!
  • What’s a computer? But who cares. I’ll get you to do it and take the credit!
LDS Resources 2006 – 2007 Front Desk Administrative Assistant/ Jr. Recruiter
  • Hit and yelled at all prospective applicants and clients.
  • Ignored questions about application process and let them set themselves up for assessment testing adhering to company protocol.
  • Didn’t pick up the phone at all. Yelled at CEO to answer his own fucking phone.
  • Lost all current and former employee information including W4 and I9 forms sold personal information to The Triad organization.
  • Lost, applications. Don’t worry, someone else found them.
  • Recruited and prescreened applicants as a member of the Operations Department.
Dutch East, LLC – 2004 - Present
  • My reputation speaks for itself. Call my manager.
The T Theatre – 2006 - Present
  • Develop assignation techniques with customers and fostered ominous atmosphere.
  • Killed customer’s dreams and drank the tears of their children
  • Took their money, cash and credit.
Mavle Collegiate Empire– 2005 - 2006
  • Tortured for children ages 1 – 7 with saw dust and car batteries.
  • Made them iron my clothes and beat them if they cried.
  • Took their candy. HA HA HA!

KKKamp Broadway – 2005

  • Made children ages 12 – 17 sing to me.
  • Watched the 2005 Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade opening number

Education – Graduated 1306

  • B.Fucking.A. Acting, Marymount Manhattan College. New York, NY. 5.0 GPA. Yes, 5.0.

- Sammy Doerr

+

I love Elaine becuase she’s my ski school buddy, and ski school buddies stick together.

Still sore,

- Jeff

+

I love your range. As a person. I love that I can talk about yoga and dharma to a woman who plays a twelve year old boy so convincingly that after viewing Chess Bus my mother asked, “How did they find a little boy to be in their video?”

I love our mutual pep talks. I love molesting you in dressing rooms. I love talking politics and boys and past lives.  I love your stunningIy accurate impersonation of me. Most of all, I love coming up with you, baby. I feel blessed to know you. Truly.

- Chris

February 13
+
I love Elaine for the same reason Sarah does. - Street

I love Elaine for the same reason Sarah does.

- Street

+

Every

Little

Attribute

Is

New

& 

Exciting 

Happy Birthday!!! No? I guess just good job being great…

- Travis 

+

Sunday Nights

Though our friendship is in the new and blossoming stage, there is nothing I like more than schleping into the UCB offices on Sunday night to find you there so I can try to impress you with my lame stories. I want you to think I’m cool Elaine, and I’m not afraid to admit it!

Will you be my friend Valentine?

xo

- Kate Spencer, Nerd